A previous post of mine was about cancer...and how real the word and meaning became to me as a result of many close people in my life were diagnosed with cancer. Some died others were placed in remission. Life is fast life is real...God had a plan and a purpose for each one of those people in my life who had/have cancer...God showed me that salvation came out of cancer. That is name is shared with others as a result of cancer...How real and how short life is...how things of this world do not make sense to me and how i wish i could have been the one to get diagnosed with cancer rather then my older sister. It doesn't make sense to me. I don't understand how a wife, mother of 3, sister, daughter, and so much more could go through the whole process of cancer and being placed in remission only to not be sure again...Life is rough...life doesn't make sense...I wish i could take this burden from my sister...but i can't...as i watch her and her life i see how God is working through her. I'm able to see her faith grow. To see the hope that she has...
I went to Olive Garden with her while she was undergoing her first round of chemo. She told me Lauren I know God is going to heal me HE told me i just need to have faith and trust that HE has all things under control and that is all in HIS timing...I remember being encouraged at thismoment a GREAT reminder that GOD was in control that HE gives people that peace that passes all understanding. A hope that is beyond anything this world can offer. How real God is, is so much more evident to me now that it ever was before....I remeber the days that turned into weeks that I gave up on God that I was mad at HIM that i couldn't understand why all of this was going on. Why did my sister have to go through this...I remeber one afternoon just being so frustrated i was crying and angry...actually i might have been so angry that i did not cry...my emotions got so screwed up last year...The phone started to ring... i didn't want to answer it...i was tired of telling people that nothing had changed that my sister still had cancer that she still was getting chemo that she was sick that she was hurting. I was tired of the whole thing. I wanted it all to be over...for things to be the way they were before the cancer....However despite my emotions i went to the phone and answered it...It was my sister .... telling me the best news i have ever heard... she said she was in remission. I remember the emotions i felt i remember hanging up the phone prostrating myself before the LORD and thanking HIM...I remember not being able to say or do anything else except to weep tears of joy. To call upon HIS name to PRAISE HIM for how worthy HE is. To know that HE is our comforter, our provider, our creator...
i now look back on last year and realize that i learned so much...that i grew closer to the LORD that i was frustrated yet i still loved the LORD...i know now that despite cancer even if it is back that God will provide. God can and will heal...She told me that again she told me God will heal me one way or another. how is she so strong how does she have so much faith through this whole process...God is good and i pray that my family will be coninuely encouraged and given the peace that only GOD can give...Have your way with our family GOD...Do what needs to be done to bring GLORY to your name and your name alone!!! AMEN
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
God is Faithful
I was praying on my way to work today. My prayer went something like this "God i have 8 more days left of work...and then i dont know where i will be. Please show me i know you are teaching me patience in my waiting."
Then i got a phone call from the principal of the school it looks like I will be working at. WOW Thank you God for answering my prayers so fast!
Then i got a phone call from the principal of the school it looks like I will be working at. WOW Thank you God for answering my prayers so fast!
Monday, June 7, 2010
SAND
I went to the beach twice in one day...and i brought my purse with me both times...
Later on in the week I put my hand in my purse to pull something out but instead i just ended up with sand underneath my fingernails...and i was like EWW gross..but I did nothing about it. A few days after that I pull a pen out of my purse. The pen no longer was working correctly because it had sand in it. I then went to a friends house with the same purse and ended up some how getting sand in her room from my purse...The sand ended up on my sunglasses, in my wallet, on my cell phone, in my lip gloss and countless other things.
You are probably thinking this girl is crazy who cares about sand in your purse go take it out and stop being lazy...and thats just right i am being lazy im not taking the sand out of my purse...because i keep forgeting its there...and when i remember its not a convienent time to take everything out of my purse remove the sand from each object and then empty my purse of the remaining pile of sand...
When i took my pen out to take notes at church it made me mad that it wasnt working correctly. I was think my goodness i just wish this pen would do what it was made to do...but because i allowed sand to enter the pen it was no longer working...It made me think thats how sin is...I allow sin in my life and it first starts off as just a minor annoyance and eventually effects all parts of your life. The sand didnt just effect the bottom of my purse but it effected everything that was in my purse and everywhere i brought my purse. Like sin does if you allow a little sin in your life it begins to effect every aspect of your life...if you are to lazy to take the time and remove the sin from every aspect of your life ... in purse terms your going to have a broken pen, scratched sun glasses, and sandy lips from your sandy lip gloss and friends who are annoyed cuz they now have sand in their room...silly right...no not at all if we dont remove sin it not only effects the one area of our life it begins to effect all areas of our lives...and it even effects those around us...so stop being lazy and clean out the sin from your life...and i will too :)
2 Peter 3:14 Therefore, beloved, looking forward to these things, be diligent to be found by HIM in peace without spot and blameless.
instead of focusing on our sin lets get it out of our lives and be focused on the LORD!!!
Later on in the week I put my hand in my purse to pull something out but instead i just ended up with sand underneath my fingernails...and i was like EWW gross..but I did nothing about it. A few days after that I pull a pen out of my purse. The pen no longer was working correctly because it had sand in it. I then went to a friends house with the same purse and ended up some how getting sand in her room from my purse...The sand ended up on my sunglasses, in my wallet, on my cell phone, in my lip gloss and countless other things.
You are probably thinking this girl is crazy who cares about sand in your purse go take it out and stop being lazy...and thats just right i am being lazy im not taking the sand out of my purse...because i keep forgeting its there...and when i remember its not a convienent time to take everything out of my purse remove the sand from each object and then empty my purse of the remaining pile of sand...
When i took my pen out to take notes at church it made me mad that it wasnt working correctly. I was think my goodness i just wish this pen would do what it was made to do...but because i allowed sand to enter the pen it was no longer working...It made me think thats how sin is...I allow sin in my life and it first starts off as just a minor annoyance and eventually effects all parts of your life. The sand didnt just effect the bottom of my purse but it effected everything that was in my purse and everywhere i brought my purse. Like sin does if you allow a little sin in your life it begins to effect every aspect of your life...if you are to lazy to take the time and remove the sin from every aspect of your life ... in purse terms your going to have a broken pen, scratched sun glasses, and sandy lips from your sandy lip gloss and friends who are annoyed cuz they now have sand in their room...silly right...no not at all if we dont remove sin it not only effects the one area of our life it begins to effect all areas of our lives...and it even effects those around us...so stop being lazy and clean out the sin from your life...and i will too :)
2 Peter 3:14 Therefore, beloved, looking forward to these things, be diligent to be found by HIM in peace without spot and blameless.
instead of focusing on our sin lets get it out of our lives and be focused on the LORD!!!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Selfish Ambitions
Selfish Ambitions?!?!?!? what is it?
according to Dictionary.com
Selfish - devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with ones one interest, benefits, welfare, etc. Regardless of others.
Ambitions - an earnest desire for some type of achievement or distinction, as power, honor, fame, or wealth, and the willingness to strive for it's attainment.
So what got me thinking about selfish ambitions? (making a long story short i will get to the point about selfish ambitons) One of my friends and I who I hadnt hung out with in a while were talking. I told him that I had joined Eharmony. We were talking about relationships and the desire to be married. He then brought up the Bible verse found in Galations 5:20 (there is also another verse in 1 Cor 12:20 that talks about selfish ambitions as well). We talked about how Paul says its better to be single so that we might serve the LORD with our whole lives. The conversation continued...
This got me thinking ... How much in my life is a selfish ambition... how often am i doing things that are not necissarliy wrong in the world's eyes or even some Christians eye's but are truly just self seeking ambitions. Is getting my job a selfish ambition, is dating a selfish ambition, is wanting to save up to buy a condo, a car, and whatever else all selfish ambitions?
So I came to the conclusion... I need to seek God in every situation.
In my future job i need to be on my knees fasting and praying that I get hired where HE wants me to be. Not where I want to be. I need to be open to going where ever HE wants me whether thats in southern califonia or in some other country.
In dating...after the past few months of dating...i've decided i dont like it... i don't really enjoy it all actually. I love meeting new people and getting to them...but dating?!?!!? i guess there is a reason i never really dated before this and that is BECAUSE there is NO POINT!!!! whats the point in going out with different people all the time to just realize that you are trying to rush God's timing and just hurry up and check the next thing off your to do list... so i said good bye to eharmony with the help of another friend who changed my password so i can't log on until God makes it perfectly clear that HE wants me on there (which I would be surprised if i ever log on again to be completly honest). I did pray about buying my subscription before going on but it was one of those prayers that was more like God if you don't want me to go on stop me...and if you want me to go on provide the money (when i kinda sorta knew i was getting a job that week). So did i waist my money...Yes and No I just had to spend $100 to learn that I need to not be seeking my selfish ambitions and be on my knees a little more often seeking the will of the LORD.
Saving my money to buy a condo and a car?!?!?! selfish ambitions? Well i could justify both purchases very easily. But why invest in a home on this earth if I don't know if God wants me to live in the Inland empire. Why put money into a new car if i have a car that works (well most of it works just not the air... and it sounds like its playing the tambourine sometimes) but ultimately how would these things help me to further the Kingdom of God?
So life lesson learned i need to be on my knees a lot more and not be so much of a planner. I want to just allow God to work in my life and be used by HIM!
according to Dictionary.com
Selfish - devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with ones one interest, benefits, welfare, etc. Regardless of others.
Ambitions - an earnest desire for some type of achievement or distinction, as power, honor, fame, or wealth, and the willingness to strive for it's attainment.
So what got me thinking about selfish ambitions? (making a long story short i will get to the point about selfish ambitons) One of my friends and I who I hadnt hung out with in a while were talking. I told him that I had joined Eharmony. We were talking about relationships and the desire to be married. He then brought up the Bible verse found in Galations 5:20 (there is also another verse in 1 Cor 12:20 that talks about selfish ambitions as well). We talked about how Paul says its better to be single so that we might serve the LORD with our whole lives. The conversation continued...
This got me thinking ... How much in my life is a selfish ambition... how often am i doing things that are not necissarliy wrong in the world's eyes or even some Christians eye's but are truly just self seeking ambitions. Is getting my job a selfish ambition, is dating a selfish ambition, is wanting to save up to buy a condo, a car, and whatever else all selfish ambitions?
So I came to the conclusion... I need to seek God in every situation.
In my future job i need to be on my knees fasting and praying that I get hired where HE wants me to be. Not where I want to be. I need to be open to going where ever HE wants me whether thats in southern califonia or in some other country.
In dating...after the past few months of dating...i've decided i dont like it... i don't really enjoy it all actually. I love meeting new people and getting to them...but dating?!?!!? i guess there is a reason i never really dated before this and that is BECAUSE there is NO POINT!!!! whats the point in going out with different people all the time to just realize that you are trying to rush God's timing and just hurry up and check the next thing off your to do list... so i said good bye to eharmony with the help of another friend who changed my password so i can't log on until God makes it perfectly clear that HE wants me on there (which I would be surprised if i ever log on again to be completly honest). I did pray about buying my subscription before going on but it was one of those prayers that was more like God if you don't want me to go on stop me...and if you want me to go on provide the money (when i kinda sorta knew i was getting a job that week). So did i waist my money...Yes and No I just had to spend $100 to learn that I need to not be seeking my selfish ambitions and be on my knees a little more often seeking the will of the LORD.
Saving my money to buy a condo and a car?!?!?! selfish ambitions? Well i could justify both purchases very easily. But why invest in a home on this earth if I don't know if God wants me to live in the Inland empire. Why put money into a new car if i have a car that works (well most of it works just not the air... and it sounds like its playing the tambourine sometimes) but ultimately how would these things help me to further the Kingdom of God?
So life lesson learned i need to be on my knees a lot more and not be so much of a planner. I want to just allow God to work in my life and be used by HIM!
Monday, February 8, 2010
DISCONNECTED
I feel disconnected. I deleted my twitter and facebook accounts over two weeks ago. I deleted my them so I could be more professional. So I wouldn't have all my business all over the Internet while I'm working for a school district and soon to be applying for jobs. The first two weeks were nice because I didn't feel like I had to be on there. This week I realized how much I use to communicate with people on there and how little communication I now have with people. I still like the fact of not having one but i miss seeing pictures of what people did and talking on the chats. Oh well...I will get over it and there are plenty of good things that have come from deleting my accounts! I spend more time with my family, lesson planning, etc. So life without FB and tweeting isn't as bad or as hard as I thought it would be :)
Monday, February 1, 2010
Growing up
I'm growing up!?!?!?
Yes thats right its been a weird few weeks. I have been working full time. It is interesting working from 7:30 to about 4:00 monday through friday. I enjoy the time I spend in the classroom and all that I am learning. It has been interesting to transition from hanging out with friends all of the time to working and coming home to do more work. I have little time to hang out and little time to spend with friends. I have been spending more time with my family which I have LOVED! It has been intersting. I look forward to the day that I will pick up a pay check after these weeks. But the interesting thing is people have always ask kids if money wasn't an issue what would you want to be when you grow up. I have always said a special education teacher. I still agree with it. I have been throughly enjoying each day in this class and the hours I spend in and out of the classroom working on lessons and working with the students. I know that this is where GOD wants me and what HE has given me a passion for. I LOVE IT!!!! God is so good!
Yes thats right its been a weird few weeks. I have been working full time. It is interesting working from 7:30 to about 4:00 monday through friday. I enjoy the time I spend in the classroom and all that I am learning. It has been interesting to transition from hanging out with friends all of the time to working and coming home to do more work. I have little time to hang out and little time to spend with friends. I have been spending more time with my family which I have LOVED! It has been intersting. I look forward to the day that I will pick up a pay check after these weeks. But the interesting thing is people have always ask kids if money wasn't an issue what would you want to be when you grow up. I have always said a special education teacher. I still agree with it. I have been throughly enjoying each day in this class and the hours I spend in and out of the classroom working on lessons and working with the students. I know that this is where GOD wants me and what HE has given me a passion for. I LOVE IT!!!! God is so good!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Sounds Like Life To ME
So there is this country song out there called sounds like life to me. It is pretty much about how life circumstances come at us and there are so many at once and they seem like the end of the world. Yet they are not. It's just life. The sad thing is that the song doesn't talk about the true purpose of life and the fact that there is hope when these things come at us. I lost my wallet today and other things have been going on in my life my initial reaction was oh well it will show up somewhere in my house but it didn't. So then i started to get frustrated (mind you there are plenty of other BIG things going on right now in my life that a wallet should really not matter that much) So i continued to be focused on the fact that i lost my wallet. I then began to realize that it wasn't as big of a deal i made it out to be...and neither are the other things going on in my life. Jerimiah talks about how God knows the plans HE has for me. So i need to be trusting that this life HE has me living is for a purpose. But also that i need to not only just trust that what HE has me doing is for HIS purpose but i need to be laying down every day to HIM. Letting HIM guide me and not planning every moment out and asking HIM to be part of what i have left over...but rather surrendering all of me every moment of every day...all i am is for HIM. HE created me and i want to live for what HE purposed my life for!
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