looking back

A previous post of mine was about cancer...and how real the word and meaning became to me as a result of many close people in my life were diagnosed with cancer. Some died others were placed in remission. Life is fast life is real...God had a plan and a purpose for each one of those people in my life who had/have cancer...God showed me that salvation came out of cancer. That is name is shared with others as a result of cancer...How real and how short life is...how things of this world do not make sense to me and how i wish i could have been the one to get diagnosed with cancer rather then my older sister. It doesn't make sense to me. I don't understand how a wife, mother of 3, sister, daughter, and so much more could go through the whole process of cancer and being placed in remission only to not be sure again...Life is rough...life doesn't make sense...I wish i could take this burden from my sister...but i can't...as i watch her and her life i see how God is working through her. I'm able to see her faith grow. To see the hope that she has...
I went to Olive Garden with her while she was undergoing her first round of chemo. She told me Lauren I know God is going to heal me HE told me i just need to have faith and trust that HE has all things under control and that is all in HIS timing...I remember being encouraged at thismoment a GREAT reminder that GOD was in control that HE gives people that peace that passes all understanding. A hope that is beyond anything this world can offer. How real God is, is so much more evident to me now that it ever was before....I remeber the days that turned into weeks that I gave up on God that I was mad at HIM that i couldn't understand why all of this was going on. Why did my sister have to go through this...I remeber one afternoon just being so frustrated i was crying and angry...actually i might have been so angry that i did not cry...my emotions got so screwed up last year...The phone started to ring... i didn't want to answer it...i was tired of telling people that nothing had changed that my sister still had cancer that she still was getting chemo that she was sick that she was hurting. I was tired of the whole thing. I wanted it all to be over...for things to be the way they were before the cancer....However despite my emotions i went to the phone and answered it...It was my sister .... telling me the best news i have ever heard... she said she was in remission. I remember the emotions i felt i remember hanging up the phone prostrating myself before the LORD and thanking HIM...I remember not being able to say or do anything else except to weep tears of joy. To call upon HIS name to PRAISE HIM for how worthy HE is. To know that HE is our comforter, our provider, our creator...
i now look back on last year and realize that i learned so much...that i grew closer to the LORD that i was frustrated yet i still loved the LORD...i know now that despite cancer even if it is back that God will provide. God can and will heal...She told me that again she told me God will heal me one way or another. how is she so strong how does she have so much faith through this whole process...God is good and i pray that my family will be coninuely encouraged and given the peace that only GOD can give...Have your way with our family GOD...Do what needs to be done to bring GLORY to your name and your name alone!!! AMEN